Thursday morning, 9:47 and I have set my timer for 55 minutes to sit and do some writing and list making, planning my schedule for the next week or so.
One of my main obstacles is a lack of structure in my day.
I need routine.I strive for routine.And yet, I avoid it.
Oh, I do follow somewhat of a routine. I have a school aged daughter after all, so I get up everyday to get her off to school. It's what I do with time before she gets home from school that's the problem.
The days that I go to work, I am just so much more productive and I have more energy and efficiency. I know that this is due in part to the routine of getting up at a set time, showering, doing my yoga, preparing the lunches, EATING, then getting out the door and off to a job which is highly dependant upon routine.
(One of the things I often neglect to do on my days at home is EAT in the morning. When I am going out to work, I MUST eat or I am drained by 10 a.m).
I often resist that which I know I need with all sorts of excuses.
“I want to be free and spontaneous”.
“I will just do things in the order that they need to be done each day”
“I'm my own boss, I don't want a schedule”
“People will think I'm anal”.
Well, Carl Jung said “What we resist, persists”
I find this to be true, I have resisted setting myself a schedule and it just keeps coming back to haunt me. So after a year and a half of working part-time, I am finally making myself a schedule (solid,yet flexible) for writing , blog posting and playing guitar as well as for meal planning and housework.
I need to have a tidy space to work in, so why not build that strategically into my schedule.
Yay!! I'm so excited about this.
And now I have a new blog post too!
Excuse me, but I now have a date with my day-timer!!
Finally, my first post of the year 2010. Coming to you via my BRAND NEW LAP TOP!!!! (After much frustration and messing around with settings and help from a tech friend to allow internet access)
Thanks to my darling Sweetheart, Fishguy, I got my Christmas wish.
Choosing has never been something that has come easily to me... Believe me, “Decide” was one of my top 10 words to choose from for this year. But, I chose Acceptance instead.
I accept that decision making is not my forte.
I won't beat myself up about it anymore.
I've also always been a fan of things that come in threes and three is my lucky number.
So, rather than picking one word for 2010, I arranged a trio instead.
Gratitude is my primary word for 2010.
This year for me, is about to be all about embracing Gratitude.
About being grateful.
Great-full.
I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am.
I am grateful for my wonderful, loving, supportive partner.
I am grateful for our awesome, kindhearted kid (sugar-plum, elf, pumpkin)
I am thankful that I am strong and healthy.
I am thankful that we have a warm and cozy home and friends both old and new, living near and far away.
I feel deep gratitude, for every day and person and lesson in it.
Because I have so much to be thankful for, I want to practice acknowledging it on a daily basis.
I intend to be more mindfully thankful each day and ensure a habit of counting my blessings and radiating an “Attitude of Gratitude”.
I also find that when I am feeling down on myself, unworthy and “not good enough”, it helps to remember just how much I really do have to be grateful for.
I also have an attitude of gratitude toward the abundance of nourishment (my second word) available for my use.
Nourishment~ to make grow, or keep alive and well with food.
My intention is to nourish my skin and body, my mind and heart and soul!
To feed my self and my family with love and healthy foods.
To keep reading and learning and writing.
To keep alive my heart songs by giving voice to them joyfully and often.
Rejoicing in the making of melodies and meat(less)loaves!!
Acceptance ~ less judgement, more appreciation.
Finding Santosha every day, contentment in the here and now, peace with what is.
This isn't about becoming complacent or accepting inappropriate behaviours or injustices.
It is about being less harsh on myself and loving and accepting all the parts of me including the procrastinator and the cynic and the grumpy old fart (Hey you kids, get off my lawn!!”).
I am participating in Jan's Meditation Challenge over at Awake Is Good. I found a nice way to incorporate my words into my meditation practice today. This is my mantra with each breath.
Inhale ~ Gratitude
Exhale ~ Loving Kindness
Inhale ~ Nourishment
Exhale ~ Loving Kindness
Inhale ~ Acceptance
Exhale ~ Loving Kindness
Repeat.
